I'd Rather be the Mosquito

If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room." 
~Anita Roddick

Why is this the theme of my blog?  I could talk about the trials and triumphs of raising four kids, and I will.  I could talk about the burden God has placed on my heart for orphans, and I will.  I could talk about how I lost my identity somewhere along the way and became just Mom, and I will.  I could talk about my struggle to lose weight, and I will (with great trepidation).  I could talk about my walk with God, and I will.  I could talk about my marriage of 17 years, and I will (but nothing too personal).  I could talk about what books I'm reading, and I will.  I could talk about things that really annoy me, and I will (even though I will probably regret it).  I could talk about a thousand other things that have been stuck in my brain but buried under layers of Elmo and Hannah Montana songs, endless loads of laundry, and sheer exhaustion, and I will.

But lately, maybe because I'm about to turn 40, I've been evaluating my life.  Sure, I've taken a leap of faith a time or two.  I've left my comfort zone a few times to do what I felt was God's will and desire for me, even in some pretty major ways.  But mostly what I see is someone who has been living life like it's a dress rehearsal; keeping God contained in a tiny box instead of letting Him loose to mess up my predictable life; trying to live up to impossible standards; staying in the safety of the harbor rather than risking going out to sea; worrying more about my own problems than trying to figure out what God's purpose for me is.  Someone who may seem to be as insignificant as a tiny mosquito, but who has the potential to do some real damage (or in this case, "great and mighty things") if I only tapped into the unlimited power and peace of the God I serve.

Let me share a few quotes that both inspire and humble me:

"I am only one, but still I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."  ~Helen Keller

"Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours.  Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ's compassion to the world.  Yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good.  Yours are the hands with which He is to bless men now."  ~St. Teresa of Avila

"I love the recklessness of faith.   First you leap, and then you grow wings."  ~William Sloane Coffin

So.  It may require baby steps, or maybe a leap of faith, but one way or another I'm looking for more than just going through the motions.  More than just trying to make it through the day.  A partnership with God instead of an acquaintance.  Joy in the journey and not waiting for someday.  I hope you enjoy coming along for the ride.