God Never Blinks: Lesson 14

IF A RELATIONSHIP HAS TO BE KEPT SECRET, YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN IT.

Quotable Quote: "You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip." ~Jonathan Carroll

This lesson was geared toward people who are single. It's goal was to instruct those looking for a relationship to only choose a person whom you would be happy to bring home to meet the folks. Since I am long past that stage in life, I thought it would be fun to reminisce on how I knew Roger was "the one."

As the story goes, Roger first saw me walking across the campus of Northwest Nazarene College (now University) my sophomore year, holding hands with my then boyfriend. Apparently he had passed over my photo in the campus directory in which he had highlighted all the girls he viewed as potential prospects. Similarly, I had no idea who he was, even though he had been both Freshman Class President, served on the Homecoming court, and was involved in Student Government. I broke up with "boyfriend" at the end of my sophomore year, and when I returned to campus my junior year Roger and I were in the same dorm together. He was a Resident Assistant, so during supervised visiting times between the boys and girls wings, his job was to roam the hallways making sure doors remained opened and everyone remained in vertical rather than horizontal positions.

One night, he peeked in the doorway where my roomate and I were entertaining guests, and said "hello." That was my first introduction to my future husband. Twenty minutes later, my telephone rang, and Roger was on the other line. He asked me to play tennis the next day, and I agreed. Believe it or not, I was a pretty good tennis player back in the day, and Roger was on the tennis team, so we made a great match (no groans, please). Tennis was followed by a Mav Run (a trip to the Maverick gas station to fill up our Mav Mugs). And that was that.

I waited several days before he called again and asked me out on another date. As I got in the car that afternoon, he asked if he could pray before we left, which threw me for a loop. On the one hand, it was kind of nice. On the other hand, I have to admit that I momentarily wondered if this date was going to be as boring as sitting through one of our mandatory chapel services. Luckily, that didn't prove to be the case. We proceeded to laugh our way through an all-day theme date that kept me guessing from one destination to the next.

One of the problems I often encountered on dates was the fact that I am a much better writer than conversationalist. I often became tongue-tied and spent the rest of the post-date evening thinking of all the witty things I would have said had I been able to coordinate my mind with my mouth. With Roger, however, things just flowed naturally. There were no awkward silences that marred so many of my previous first dates. He would later tell me that he knew I was the one for him because I laughed at all his jokes. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was laughing more at the fact that he was under the mistaken impression that they were funny than anything else.

When did I know he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I think it was the evening we were on a date at a campus musical, and I started feeling sick halfway through. Without a second thought, Roger said "let's go" and led me to the car. We sat and talked for a while, and before I knew it I was feeling better and we decided to continue on with the date....headed out for dessert or something. I started singing "My Favorite Things" in the car on the way home, and he told me he thought my voice was beautiful. I clearly remember writing in my journal that night, "I think I actually love this guy."

Suffice it to say, I never had to worry about what my parents would think if I brought him home. He was pretty much cookie cutter perfect, with just enough flaws to make things interesting. As the years go by, of course, the flaws become less interesting and more annoying. But that guy who took a chance on the "quiet" girl who was never the life of the party....the girl who was pretty, but not wearing enough makeup or hairspray to earn being highlighted in the student directory? He's still there in my memories, and even now in those rare moments when we find ourselves walking somewhere holding hands like we once did across the college campus....me taking two steps for each of his, trying to keep up. And I no longer "think I actually love this guy." I really, truly, do.