Handing Over The Keys....And My Peace Of Mind

I knew the day would come eventually.  In fact, I was thinking of it 14 years ago when I took this photo of my baby behind the wheel.  I just didn't know it would come so quickly. 

And I didn't anticipate that seeing her drive away for the first time on her own would be so nerve-racking.  The fact that she got perfect scores on her written and driving tests makes no difference.  Neither does the fact that she is genetically related to me and I have never received a ticket nor been in an accident (well, not counting the two times I just barely tapped the car in front of me at the stoplight....once due to a child I thought was being murdered but actually just saw a spider, and another time due to a child who said she was about to puke and distracted me from the car who slammed on their brakes directly in front of me).  The fact that on several occasions I barely escaped certain death while she was driving trumps the perfect scores at the DMV. 

But to everything there is a season.....and this is the season of letting go and trusting God to be in the passenger seat in my place.  It's as necessary as it is difficult.  The following quote expresses my feelings perfectly:

"It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that we fear… It’s like being between trapezes. It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold on to." - Marilyn Ferguson

That's where I am with my firstborn.  I know I need to let her go in order for her to grow into a capable, responsible, independent young woman.  I also know that in between now and then there's a lot of potential for mistakes and accidents and painful experiences I cannot prevent.  It's losing control.  It's having "nothing to hold on to."  Except for the fact that she belongs first and foremost to God, and He knows what He's doing.  And that's enough.