The Life I Imagined

So, just what is the life I imagined? I guess the best person to ask is my 18 year old self. Fresh out of high school and ready to face the world, what were the dreams I had for my life then and have they been fulfilled? I kept a journal during my 18th year that I dusted off recently and read. I discovered to my amazement that the things I was searching for back then are the exact things I desire in my life 23 years later. Here are some direct quotes from my journal that reflect those dreams:

1. To live in the moment and find joy in the journey.
"I can't sit around waiting for something that might never happen when there might be somthing good right in front of me."

2. To live a life of gratitude.
"Tragedies like this happen and put your life in perspective. It makes my problems so entirely trivial."

3. To live a life of purpose and meet the needs of others.
"Sometimes I feel like nothing I can do will help - so why even try? The world is too messed up. But that's the wrong attitude. If I can change just one person's life, it is worth it."

4. To accept myself as perfectly imperfect.
"If I concentrate on not worrying about what others think, if I realize that no one is perfect, and if I accept myself, then maybe things will be o.k."

5. To love and to be loved.
"I just wish some decent, mature, responsible, funny, handsome Christian guy would fall in love with me."

6. To be a reflection of Jesus.
"The one thing I want most of all is that other people will see Jesus in me - that I will reflect Him in such a way that others will want what I have."


How revealing to learn that the things I sought for as an 18 year old girl are the things I'm still seeking today. Those things must be the essence of what God desires for my life. He put them on my heart from the very beginning. Some of those desires have been met, some will come to pass as I grow in my Christian walk, and some may continue to be a lifelong journey.

So this is it.....the life I imagined.
And it comes down to this:

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." (Diane Ackerman)