God Never Blinks: Lesson 4

DON'T TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

Quotable Quotes: "All my life, my brain has sent out false warning signals. It constantly tells me that if I'm not perfect, I have failed. (My brain) can't discern that there are shades of gray coloring everything in life, that the world isn't a class you take pass-fail."

Wow. Can I relate to that! Pretty much everything in my life from the time I was little was internally graded by me on a pass-fail system. So I played a difficult piano piece at a recital and missed only one note? Fail. So I got 99% on a test at school, beating out all the other students for the highest grade? Fail. So I had a solo in jazz choir and nailed it at 3 performances but missed a note on the 4th? Fail. So I remembered to hand in 12 teacher permission slips for my children in a row, but forgot the 13th? Fail. And the big one: So I'm the C.E.O. of a family of 6 who daily manages to meet their food, clothing, health, entertainment, transportation, academic, and emotional needs, but I am overweight. Fail.

I struggle with remembering that the world does not revolve around my successes or failures. I forget that I can't control everything. Not even my best-laid plans will come to pass if they are not a part of God's master plan. And sometimes failure has a part to play in His plan. So I'm trying to laugh at my mistakes more. And trying to realize that others around me aren't wasting their time thinking about how I messed up. Trying to realize my failures just aren't that important in the big picture. That how I treat others is more important than how much I weigh. That the fact that my kids are loved and cared for is more important than the fact that I forgot to buy the posterboard they needed for the next days class project.

John Maxwell said, "We are approved by God. We don't have to win the approval of others and look good in their eyes. We are not perfect people. Too many of us take ourselves too seriously and God not seriously enough." I think this is something I'm only coming to appreciate as I have gotten older. I used to be so afraid of others finding out that I'm not perfect. My relationships with people tended to function on a very shallow level because I didn't have much to say...everything was "fine", my kids were "great", my marriage was "good". Thanks for asking. So, what's new with you?

At some point in the last few years that wall of protection began to crumble. Maybe I was tired of pretending. Maybe I just started realizing how important it was for Christians to build each other up and how impossible it is to do that when we insist that nothing is wrong. We struggle to keep appearances up to keep from looking less spiritual than those around us. It's hard to admit that as a follower of Christ from the time you were a preschooler, you still have doubts and yell at your kids and slam the occasional door and eat too much and sometimes really, really just want to get in a car and keep on driving until you end up somewhere quiet, like a deserted island.

I heard a saying once: "You are a process, not a product." My goal should not be to present myself as a perfect product using false advertisement, but to present myself to others as a work in progress....on a pathway marked with mistakes and failures. But a beloved child of God nonetheless.