God Never Blinks: Lesson 6

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT. AGREE TO DISAGREE


Quotable Quote: "Before I got married, I laughed after reading about a couple who created a 16-page prenuptial agreement that detailed everything from not letting the car get lower than half a tank of gas to never leaving socks on the floor. Sixteen pages? It wasn't so funny after I got married."

My husband and I think uncannily alike. We have similar tastes in decorating styles, pizza toppings, political leanings, and television shows (with the exception of my love for TLC and his love for those nature shows in which big animals kill and eat smaller ones). However, there are some areas in which we have, over the course of the last 18 years, found it necessary to agree to disagree.

1. Roger likes things hot. Hot weather, a warm house, heat flowing through the car, and a bed with lots of blankets. I, however, prefer mild temperatures, an active air conditioner, the windows down in the car no matter the weather, and an icy bedroom. Over the years we have repeatedly been at war over thermostat settings and the flannel sheets he tries to sneak onto the bed as soon as temperatures drop into the 60's outside. When we retire, we will have two separate homes. He will spend the winters in Arizona, and I will spend them in the snowy splendor of Colorado.

2. Roger likes coupons. A lot. And while I admire his frugality, there have been times when it has caused some friction. Let's just say hypothetically that we went to the pumpkin patch and brought our own snacks so as not to pay for the overpriced ones there, but ended up staying way past dinner time and were starving and still had a drive home to endure. And let's just say that the kids begged to stop and get dinner since we hadn't gone out to eat in a while. And let's just say that someone decided that since we forgot to bring the coupons it wasn't going to happen. And then let's say, hypothetically of course, that the rest of the family chanted "Daddy is a Coupon Nazi" all the way home.

3. Continuing with the frugality theme, Roger is not a "thrower-outer." It's not that he's a hoarder......he just can't stand losing money on things. Where I would be happy giving away a piece of furniture that we no longer need, he would rather try to sell it. Where I would throw out a jar of mayonaisse that had enough left in it to perhaps cover half a sandwich when scraped out with a spatula, he would pull it out of the trash and ask "Who wasted all this mayo?" Where I would throw out a sweater covered in pills that is several years old, he would insist on spending an hour trying to remove all the pills so it might be wearable again. And so we agree to disagree (which occasionally means I throw out stuff while he's at work).

When it comes to trying not to win any argument, my biggest challenge comes with dealing with my 15 year old daughter. The simplest conversation can turn into a battle for superiority. What do we disagree on? Well, let's see....EVERYTHING. Texting. Appropriate t.v. shows/movies. Clothing choices. When to go to bed and when to wake up. Who said what and when. Where she's going and why.

I can understand where she's coming from. After all, when I was 15, I knew everything as well. I suppose it's only fitting that I suffer the same torment as I put my parents through. But with teenagers, as opposed to with my husband, there are times we just can't agree to disagree. There are times she has to just do whatever I say. But that's another story for another day.