God Never Blinks: Lesson 7

CRY WITH SOMEONE. IT'S MORE HEALING THAN CRYING ALONE.

Quotable Quote: "We need to stop hiding our tears and actually share them. It takes a strong person to cry. It takes a stronger person to let others see those tears."

I used to be a very stoic person in public. I didn't want others to see me crying because it didn't support the image of the "I've got my life together" person I wanted to portray. Also, I tended to stuff my feelings inside when they got too overwhelming. Little hurts would make me cry, but when the big hurts came I just kind of went numb. To some it may have looked like I was "cold-hearted," but in reality the pain was so deep I just chose not to acknowledge it at all. I remember not being able to cry at my grandmother's funeral, but several years later crying hysterically when I heard the song that was sung at her funeral. I remember breaking the news to my Sunday School class when at age 23 I was diagnosed with cancer, and not shedding a tear. In fact, I don't remember crying at all during the entire treatment process. It's like if I didn't think about it, it couldn't possibly be that serious.

After I had children, the tough shell started to slowly erode, until now I can cry at the drop of a hat. And there are certain things that never fail to bring tears. The story of Kara's healing from the most severe of her Autistic symptoms at age four. The memory of the failed adoption of Ricky. Watching any video with orphans in it. Most of the Little House on the Prairie episodes. That moment at the end of the day in which I look around and see fruit snack wrappers, multiple pairs of shoes, and little tiny bits of paper from a craft project that turned into a confetti party.

And I even cry in public on occasion. At first I felt stupid. And to be honest, I still feel stupid sometimes, as if I should be strong enough to control the tears. Once I even bawled, red-faced and ridiculous looking, in front of an entire group of friends, who had no idea how to respond to such emotion and so did nothing (which by the way, makes the person crying feel like more of an idiot. I couldn't have made them squirm more if I had suddenly started swearing like a sailor). But I also know that even if it makes others uncomfortable to witness, it makes me real. And I think it's necessary for Christians to be willing to show their flaws and failures. The perfect image we try to portray keeps the unsaved from entering our church doors and keeps the saved from admitting their need for help.

There's a song by Matthew West called "The Healing has Begun." The lyrics go like this: There's a world full of people dying from broken hearts / Holding on to their guilt, thinking they fell too far / So don't be afraid to show them your beautiful scars / Cause you're the proof that the healing has begun.

As Christians, we need to be transparent. We need to share our broken hearts and admit our need for help. And by showing off our beautiful scars we bring hope to others still fighting the battle.